Second Chances
by CarolineLeighMorgan
Summary: What if you could take one moment and do it over? Zander/Carly. Oneshot.


**Title:** Second Chances  
**Pairing:** Zander/Carly  
**Rating:** PG13

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Zander couldn't believe Carly was dead. It wasn't that long ago that he was cursing her angrily and throwing her out of his place—bitter betrayal searing through his veins but anger winning out in the end, breaking her gift in his hands like a symbol of their relationship… broken… over. He didn't even hesitate when he kicked her out that night. Now he wishes he had.

He broke into Club 101, a little lost and a lot drunk. Everything looked pristine… in order… perfect... even his suit from the funeral earlier that day. It didn't sit well with him, made Zander twitchy and angry inside. She should be here and she wasn't because he threw her away like everybody else. And he hated himself for it. He hit a glass centerpiece with the broken pool cue in his hand like it was a stationary baseball—watched as it flew across the room and shattered against the wall.

When there weren't anymore centerpieces to break, any more glasses to shatter, he tossed the pool cue aside and started throwing chairs across the room, one by one as the glass crunched under his feet. He growled in anger before he tossed a table over, panted with exertion and cursed everything in his life—himself… Sonny… Alexis… their selfishness… his stubbornness… _Carly_.

Some part of Zander told him he shouldn't be doing this—shouldn't be destroying the one thing besides her own son that she held so dear, felt so much pride for. Some part of Zander told him this was wrong but the other part—the one that felt heartbroken and angry, regretful and lost—that part didn't have a problem tearing the club apart piece by piece. That part reveled in it. And Zander felt a sick sort of satisfaction at the destruction at his feet—made by his own hands. The club was as messed up as he felt inside—torn apart like Carly was torn from his life.

Zander didn't even realize he'd been laughing like a maniac until he heard the cops talking amongst each other at the station. It had taken several minutes for them to finally knock him down and subdue him at Club 101 before they carted him off to jail and written it all up on the report. He dropped back against the lonely cot; eyes closed to the pitying looks sent his way, he prayed silently to whoever was listening to make this right again… to give Carly back and take him away from this nightmare. Zander finally drifted off to sleep in the ratty, dank jail cell; Carly's name and face followed him into his dreams.

Zander woke up groaning in pain. His ribs bruised and hand still bandaged from the night before. He sat up in surprise, cursing at the pull on his beaten body. He didn't know what the hell was going on but here he was all over again… the bruised ribs and bandaged hand. It couldn't be. Could it?

His heart felt like it would pound its way right out of his chest.

Then he saw her. Carly. _Alive_. She was beautiful and there and the heartbreak and anger was written clearly in her eyes. Zander still couldn't believe what was happening. It had all been a terrible nightmare, but it felt so **real**. Carly moved towards him, making her way into his room… onto his bed.

"Carly?" He didn't think his voice came out at all but at Carly's puzzled look it did.

"I—" Carly shook her head, hands clenching at her sides before she closed the door behind her and stripped off her coat. "Hi," she offered with a flirty smile… if a little uneasy.

"What—I—this isn't real."

Carly narrowed her eyes, clearly confused but then she shook her head.

"This is _very_ real."

Her fingers trailed a path along Zander's bare chest, up along his neck before rubbing over his lips. She bit her lip and Zander's eyes zeroed in on the motion. He remembered what happened last time. Carly had used him, wanted to sleep with him just to get back at Sonny. He remembered it all, throwing her out… what happened next… and as angry as it made him all over again, Carly was back. She was here and he didn't want to lose her again… not like before. Still…

"Carly, you don't want to do this."

Carly chuckled, removing her shirt. "I'm here, right?"

"Carly."

"You saying 'no'?"

"I'm saying you don't want this."

That stopped her. "You know, I'm really sick and tired of people telling me what I do and don't want. I'm so _sick_ of it, Zander. I just thought you'd be different."

"I thought you would be, too." He just had to keep her talking, keep her there… with him.

"What the hell does that mean?" Carly was annoyed and confused but she wasn't leaving. She was however putting her shirt back on.

"I know why you're here."

Carly laughed, cold and angry. "Doesn't take a genius to figure out… middle of the night, in your bed, taking off my clothes… anyone can put two and two together."

"No. That's not what I mean. I know why you're here and it's not just about sex." Zander explained. "It's Sonny."

"I don't give a damn about Sonny."

"You love him."

"Loved. Past tense, sweetheart." Carly got off the bed and went for her coat. Zander didn't miss the edge or bitterness in her words.

"Don't leave. _Please_." He didn't care if he sounded desperate. "Stay. Please, Carly, just stay here."

"For what?" But he already saw her crumble. The tears formed in her eyes and her nose wrinkled, throat swallowing roughly to contain her emotions.

"Cause I'm asking you to. Cause even though I know why you came here, I still want you to stay." Zander hobbled off the bed, hissing and biting back curses as he moved towards her. "You're angry. And you're feeling reckless. I get it. I've been there. But I care about you, Carly, and I don't want you doing something stupid. And I won't let that stupid thing be me or anything else that you can rip yourself apart with later."

Carly wrapped her arms around herself, eyes flitting back and forth between him and the door. She wanted to bolt. He could see it. He probably should have just slept with her but he couldn't. He couldn't do that but he did want to save her. He **had** to save her.

"I—"

"You don't have to talk about it."

"Why are you doing this?" Carly sniffled but she couldn't meet his eyes, choosing instead to look somewhere over his shoulder.

"You're my friend."

"And?"

"The truth?" Carly nodded. Zander couldn't give her the exact truth… like she'd really believe that. So he went for the best truth he knew. "I don't want to be something you regret, Carly. And I sure as hell don't want to be the person you use to get back at Sonny. I love you but even I wouldn't let you use me like that."

Zander watched as she held herself together but he had no idea what she was thinking. Her face completely guarded and closed off to him. She tilted her head and actually met his eyes though.

"You love me?"

"I think so. Possibly."

"Hate me now?"

"No."

"You're being really calm about this." Carly huffed.

"You didn't actually do anything."

Carly raised an eyebrow questioningly. "You know why I came here..."

"Yeah."

"…what I was going to do. You should hate me." When Zander didn't answer, Carly continued. "I'd hate you, you know."

"I don't doubt it," Zander mused with a shrug of his shoulders, grimacing in pain. He really had to stop moving around so much. "I'm going to sit down now. You can join me or stay standing over there… just don't leave, okay?"

He heard her shuffle around behind him as he made his way back on the bed as careful as possible.

"You're really dead set on me not leaving here, aren't you?" Zander flinched at her words. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No."

Carly sighed, sitting next to him on the bed. Their shoulders touched and Zander dropped his head back against the headboard, head tilted towards her… she mirrored his position.

"I saw them together tonight—Sonny and Alexis." Carly held his gaze. "You said you knew. How long?"

"Kind of a recent development." Not a complete lie.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carly closed her eyes and Zander's hand moved to cup her face instinctively, but he didn't answer her question. She leaned into the touch and Zander's thumb grazed along her cheek. "I'm so fucking tired, Zander. I'm so tired of not being enough. Why the hell can't I be enough?"

"Hey." Zander gripped her chin between his fingers and her eyes popped open at the demand in his touch. She looked so sad, so open and vulnerable but she was still there. He moved forward, mouths connecting in a slow kiss… a small noise of surprise as he pulled her in. He broke away and watched her eyes flit over his face, uncertain. "You are enough." It sounded cheesy but he meant it, just as much for himself as for Carly. They needed to stop twisting themselves up to live up to everyone else's standards… stop breaking themselves apart just to be given the time of day from people who looked down at them, strung them along cause they knew they could. He was just as tired as she was.

"I'm so screwed up." She muttered sadly against his neck.

Zander shook his head, tucking his face into her hair. "No more than the rest of us."

"You're so full of shit." But she was laughing. He put his arm around her, tucking her closer to his body, and she moved in willingly. Carly's hand settled on his stomach as she relaxed against him. Her fingers grazed idly back and forth along his stomach, letting the silence wash over them for some time. "Are we going to talk about that kiss?"

"Do you want to?"

"Only if you don't want to do it again," she admitted, brushing her mouth over his shoulder.

"I don't."

She moved away from him, body tense and eyes narrowed. "You don't?" He couldn't fight the smile that formed on his face though and she slapped his chest with an angry curse. "You're such an ass."

"It's only fair considering you were planning on using me tonight." Carly instantly deflated at the words and he wished he hadn't said them.

"Pretty stupid, huh?" Carly met his gaze. "Sorry about that."

"It's already been forgiven."

"Just like that?"

"Like I said, you didn't actually do anything."

Carly straddled his legs, fingers tracing along his chest before resting her palm over his heart. "How do you know I'm not still using you?"

"Are you?" Carly shook her head. "Then that's all I need to know."

"You know that kiss?" Zander nodded. "Think we can do that again..." Zander didn't answer her with words. He simply smiled and used his good hand to tilt her head forward as their lips met in a brief kiss, letting it progress naturally. His bandaged hand settled against her hip while they traded slow, lazy kisses never getting too hurried or demanding. It was about reassurance and comfort—a sign of connection. When they each got their fill, they finally broke away with kiss-swollen lips and satisfied smiles. He wasn't some ploy now and she didn't feel the need to destroy herself.

Zander wasn't sure what had happened. It might have all been a horrible dream or maybe he was going insane, either way they were finally going to get their chance. He'd learned from his mistakes and hopefully she'd learn from hers. But right now, they were together. She was alive and safe in his arms and that's all he could ask for at that moment.

Carly slept beside him, tucked to his side and her head resting on his chest. Zander watched her, afraid to close his eyes for fear that he'd wake up and she wouldn't be there… that this was really the dream and she'd be taken away from him. He watched and watched, until his eyes closed of their own accord and he drifted off to sleep, arm securely wrapped around her. Even if it all turned out to be a dream, he'd hold onto it as long as he possibly could.


End file.
